Originally Posted by
Rich45 
What made you finally quit? I haven’t had that thing. I never got a dwi, have a great job, great kids, good wife, however we fight when she drinks to much and lately it’s been a lot. I am a super happy drunk, she is not. She is miserable. Nice house, cars that kind of superfiscal crap. I feel like if I could only have drinks till I catch a buzz then stop. Last couple days I drink till I eat it then I drink even faster. I can’t win. I don’t think to drink faster it just happens. I catch myself drinking a glass in 5 minutes or less. 3-4 shots a glass. I try to slow it down but just keeps going. Do you think there is a way to not be like this?
The only way to "not be like this" i.e. perpetual binge drinking that seems to be getting worse over time is sobriety, period. So many of us here have been where you are at, where addiction begins taking over your life. That you believe you need to drink to find joy in life should be a telling sign - this is the illusory nature of progressive alcoholism.
I can relate to much of what you are saying, especially when you mentioned you have told God you were ready to go at any moment. I have felt like this as well, and is not uncommon given the vicious cycle of binge drinking and relapses you've been through.
You've done a good thing by reaching out , and there are many members here who have been able to maintain long term sobriety and have come out the other side who are leading productive, satisfying lives.
Stick around, read, and post
often. This is a great community and we're here to help!