Loulou,
Best wishes to you giving up drinking. I too drank entirely too much wine daily and was suffering lots of consequences. I kept drinking for several years pondering the question, “Am I an alcoholic?” I realized that the answer didn’t matter. When I drank, it wasn’t for relaxation or to unwind with a couple, it was to drink to oblivion. I had no interest in moderation. This pattern of drinking was unhealthy and the consequences were mounting up. So I quit.
Now with some sobriety under my belt, I embrace the idea of alcoholism as a spectrum. I had more consequences than some, fewer than others. But I can choose to get off the crazy train no matter what my label should be. Had I continued, I’m sure things would have gotten more serious. I can learn from the experience of others without having to hit “rock bottom” myself. The day I quit I was miserable, and that was enough for me.
I haven’t shared my recovery with anyone but the kind folks here. Everyone who knows me knows I used to drink, and now I don’t. Enough said.
There are so many great options you’ll find here...the fellowships and philosophies of the various recovery programs are great, and you’ll find many who go it alone. So much support whichever path you choose.
-bora