Welcome Loulou - I'm so glad you found us & posted about what's going on.
It's so difficult when those around us drink & don't realize what we're going through. That's why finding SR & posting here regularly helped me find the courage to quit & stay that way. I was able to discuss all my challenges with those who really understood. I had felt all alone with the struggle up until then. I hope you'll find us encouraging & supportive. Congrats on your 4th day sober - that is wonderful. Be proud for reclaiming your life & getting free.