Has anoyone else noticed an extreme tention
... in acute withdrawals. Tension in the upper back, but most of all the shoulders. They are literally up to my ears.
When the nurses ask me, when I'm shaking and feeling this discomfort feeling like a bullet has hit me,
"Is there anything I can do to help you?"
I want to respond, "yes, give me a shoulder massage"... I think that is inappropriate though, and I'm not sure, but I don't think they do that.
It's a result of anxiety (general and social), which I've had since my early teens. Alcohol doesn't help it. I thought it did, it wasn't before my early 20s I actually really got drunk, and I fell in love with it (alcohol) as it relieved my anxiety.
Now, at 35 it has just escalated. It relieves the anxiety for maybe for a couple of hours, but that's it - It just makes it worse in the long run.
Now, I'm not stupid (I think), but I'm not sure how this is going to end.
I apparently have a triple diagnosis (I can read everything that has been written in my journal online), addiction to alcohol, anxiolitycs/hypnotics (benzos), and Schizoid. Now, I agree with the first to, but NOT the schizoid part. Reading the signs/symptoms of being Schizoid, it is totally not me. I may appear that way because of my anxiety. Eg. I want to be social, but it's hard, considering the anxiety.
This week I'm going to detox, no matter what how horrible it's gonna be. I am desperate...
... to get sober.