It 16:06 here. Been sleeping a couple of hours - very murky disturbing dreams and at some point I seem to have gone from my sofa to bed. No recollection.
At least it doesnt seem as bad as yesterday. Still sweating a lot. Frightened of taking a bath (I would love to soak in bath) - I tried this yesterday, must have fainted and woke choking on water. I posted this .
But a brief shower will have to be enough. Getting some very dark moments in my head, I will open window again for that breeze. Summer is coming i think and I just feel like breaking down again. I guess its just my mind and body not used to being without alcohol - binge and top-up. That WAS me. but not any more.
I think real problem is after detox. I can get through this but honestly I just have not been without drink for so long. Also I keep playing with idea of taking 2 weeks holiday - fly home and MAYBE go to a rehab? - would take most of my savings but my work would not know. I need to find out more.
Sorry for all the posts I make, but I just need to feel connected.