Heya Nhwm. I'm super glad you found this place and hope you are finding the information helpful. Also super super sorry that you are in the position your are in.
When I went through my version of this story, I honestly didn't believe that it was possible to feel so much pain. It hurts in a glow in the dark psychedelic way. We all went through some period of trying to control what we absolutely couldn't control. Letting go of this beloved person hurts so much and really is the only way.
Courage to you and may battalions of angels dive bomb your family.