1.) Why is her having emotional relationships with other men wrong?
you're kidding right? your wife is out chippying around and HAS been for years. it isn't any one man, it appears to be open season.
Why is her talking to everyone about our relationship so bad?
because there is no resolution is simply griping to anyone who listen about what a rotten piece of humanity YOU are and how lousy your relationship is. it serves no purpose but to make her feel better and justified. if it's that bad, then END IT.
Her quitting her job.
this is WAYYYYY beyond where she works. and it fixes nothing. it's just another example of the fact she has zero respect for you and will continue to do exactly as she pleases, at your expense.
she isn't hooking up with other men because of YOU, that's HER problem. HER choice. and has been from the git go it appears. she is incapable of being faithful, because she'd have to put aside her own impulses and she can't do that.