Originally Posted by
nhwm 
Questions for a few of the people responding so far.
1.) Why is her having emotional relationships with other men wrong? I feel like I am being controlling if I ask her to stop talking to that person , or to at least back it down some. I may feel that way because she has trained me to feel that way as well. I feel it's wrong as she is having a private relationship with another man, these arent relationships i'm privy to the conversations, such would be the cause with neighbors and family friends. Help me on this please.
2.) Why is her talking to everyone about our relationship so bad? She feels the need to vent. To me, I feel it is a break of our trust and intimacy. Help me on this as well please.
3.) I agree contacting her work was bad. However, nobody has yet given an opinion on how they think my spouse not quiting her job reflects upon us. Anyone have thoughts about this? I feel it is awful insult to me and us, that she refuses to find another job.
Thanks
1-Respect of the other. This quote tells it best.
A frog sitting on the handle of a saucepan, which is sitting on an electric hob, which is glowing red.
A frog sitting on a saucepan handle
The boiling frog is a fable describing a frog being slowly boiled alive.
The premise is that if a frog is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out,
but if the frog is put in tepid water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will
not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death. The story is often used as
a metaphor for the inability or unwillingness of people to react to or be aware of
sinister threats that arise gradually rather than suddenly.
2-To a few close friends who encourage her to push into her marriage is healthy.
Those who fan the flame aren't helping your marriage
3-Look, it was a bad call on your part to contact them.
You can't reverse it but can own it and learn. Once again she doesn't respect you
or the marriage 'relationship'