Glad you're feeling better Bailey. You're far too awesome an individual to be loathing yourself, that's for sure. Keep going, you're doing great xxx
I'm a bit disappointed with myself about how I'm feeling about something. Don't worry... I haven't done anything crazy .... Just wish I didn't feel a certain way about something. So, my neighbours who live directly opposite me have been vile to me and my family since they moved in 2 years ago. They've smashed up my husband's car, called us every name under the sun and told me they hope I can cancer .... In front of my kids. It got so bad I had to call the police and luckily since then it has all calmed down a lot. It's still horrible living opposite them and they still make me feel uncomfortable but it's manageable now. Anyway, yesterday I was getting home and saw my friends car parked outside my house. I was excited to see her but could tell she looked uncomfortable when she saw me. Turns out she was waiting to collect one of the kids from across the road to take to gymnastics. Turns out her daughter is friends with one of the kids across the road and they do a lift share. What's wrong with that? I hear you say. 'Nothing' my rational brain replies. But the truth is, I'm feeling really annoyed about it. This friend knows how awful these neighbours have been .... She knows how much their hatred and nastiness affected me, especially after my dad's death. Yet here she is colluding with the enemy. I know I've got no right to feel annoyed. I know the world doesn't revolve around me. I know people can do lift shares with whoever they want. I guess it just feels very disloyal and if someone upset her the way they've upset me, I'd have her back. I know I would. Obviously not going to say anything to her about it .... I don't look for drama anymore. I just wish I didn't feel this way. I think I need to meditate on it and try to work out what this says about me.
Love to everyone and 24 more for me and Jo please xxx