samlynn, sending you hugs and support. I hope you can keep coming back to this board really often because the support and wisdom and caring that is offered here is true gold. The support and wisdom I have found here for my somewhat similar situation has helped me to find the strength - after many years - to make some important big decisions as the mother of my children and as an individual, and to overcome (a little bit at a time and i'm still working on it all the time) self-doubt, second-guessing, and denial. I wish you inner peace, strength, and safety as you move ahead.