Originally Posted by
Guener 
Thank you, MindfulMan, of mentioning the idea of negotiation with the AV as pointless. It's an argument that I need to leave behind, just accepting that it's a losing proposition that drains me and can lead only to a return of negative consequences. I don't need to waste my energy that way.
I said that aloud at a 12 Step meeting during inpatient rehab, and three people asked me to repeat it. Over the next few days a number of people asked me about that statement. It really resonated, because it's so true. If you're not an alcoholic, moderation is just what you do. If you ARE an alcoholic, moderation is exactly that, a tiresome and endless negotiation that is often lost. If I'd tried to moderate after medical detox and five weeks in rehab, I might have been able to drink moderately...for a time. But nearly two years later, I'd either have realized that it was impossible and would have quit for good or been back to a crappy life of booze and rock bottom. Again.
I realized that drinking was far from a joy, it was a chore. As was all intoxication for me.