Stayingsassy

Ha. Finally.

I always knew that when it came to the real crux of my work, I did well. But as you all know, as professionals, our responsibilities aren’t always limited to the parts we enjoy, the parts that feed us or make us feel that spark. There are deadlines, there are addendums and meetings and documentation and self-checking and humility and making yourself grind sometimes and making sure T’s are crossed and I’s are dotted. It isn’t all fun and games, make me shine moments. It’s work we have earned and work we have built up our foundation to be privileged enough to perform....but it’s still a job.

Guess who wasn’t really all that invested in making sure things were done correctly. Guess who wasn’t really all that humble. Guess who liked getting caught up in drama.

Now, she is calm. She is aware of what’s not getting done. She is aware of shortcomings and working slowly on rectifying them. She is responsive to criticism instead of just avoiding. She is not hungover. She is not caught up in personal or professional drama. She is aware of smaller details. She is aware of the big picture. She is aware of how the work she does impacts those who follow up.

Pay attention in sobriety. Sometimes you just might see where your hard work is paying off.

It’s not gonna pay off everywhere. I’m slipping here and there in other parts of my life and there is intentional slipping and stonewalling and stagnation in these areas and I have so much further work to do, in this 18th month of sobriety I so am unfinished business.

But I have to stop and smell what blooms for me, sometimes, after all these months.