Hi iris,
As both Dandylion and Trailmix have said, that's great news that your babyis thriving, which as you know, is all down to you.
It's also true about how hard and challenging it can be being a first time mum. Finding it difficult is no reason to feel shame. Trailmix is right when she says the baby will grow quickly and begin doing little things himself and you can start interacting with him.
Great that you're seeing your therapist soon. I'm sure you'll begin to feel much better once that starts. Is Dandylion's suggestion of getting over to the church this weekend something you think you could get round to? I'm sure it would do you a power of good if you did manage to go.
You're doing well. Please keep us updated.