I hope you have someone in the real world who you can share this with. I am a big believer in AVRT, but you need other people to get through this process.
Keep posting here. We're listening.
Also see if you can focus on the positive. It's not just that you won't be fired, it's that you'll be MUCH better at your job without booze. You will feel better, look better, and BE better.
If you're doing AVRT, or some form of it, you are no longer a drinker now. And never will be again. That's how it works.
But keep talking.