Not doing so well. I love my son so much and just want him to be happy and healthy,but the past two weeks have been the most exhausting and trying times of my life. I cry everyday...I feel anxious. I don’t even wanna be alone with him. At all. I feel like I’m failing as a parent. I just want him to be happy and I feel like somehow I don’t succeed at that. I tell my family how I’m struggling and I feel like nothing is changing. I wanna run away some days. I wanna talk to my boyfriend but he’s in prison.




Every conversation I have with him is timed and very limited. It’s overwhelming. I wanna scream. I’ve tried praying. I’ve tried thinking positive. I’ve tried talking to myself about how silly it is and that I’m doing an okay job at this. But nothing works. I’m lonely and I just wanted someone to share the responsibility of a newborn with. I cringe at the thought of doing this alone for 5 years. That’s how long my boyfriend is going to be away. All because he chose drugs over everything else. He never even got to hold him or see him in person.







It hurts my heart so bad. No matter how I try to stay strong I find myself crying and second guessing my decisions in my life. It’s so hard for me and I feel pressure to be a certain way that I can’t live up to. Sometimes I just wanna run away and never return. I don’t feel normal and I hate that I have these thoughts. Makes me feel like a horrible person.







Crying alone has become a typical thing for me. I’m so tired of being sad.