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Old 03-06-2019, 01:39 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Gottalife
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
 
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I liked Tomsteve's response above. A lot of wisdom there, and experience that I can relate to.

I remember reaching the same spot. I often say the first two years were the most exciting because that was when all the big changes happened. Then, as I was looking around after climbing out of the hole, the question came "So now what?"

The way I was led by my sponsor to practice the program is that when I am working with a newcomer on taking the steps, I am deepening my own experience at the same time. Every newcomer adds something and always brings a new perspective. I work the steps again. alongside him and with him, just as my sponsor did with me and his with him.

One thing that I have had reaffirmed many times is there is no such thing as "relapse prevention" for an alcoholic of my type. The very term is an oxymoron. I can't keep myself sober, neither can any human power. No matter what, I lack the power to make the right, sane decision when the obsession is upon me. Thus remebering what it was like won't save me when I reach that point because the memory never comes with sufficient force. The section of the Big Book dealing with step one is quite emphatic about this experience.

Another point the book makes a lot is that working with others is vital to permanent recovery so how to do that is the question. Maybe it is a matter of perspective.

Maybe my own meeting practice will give you some ideas. I attend one meeting a week, a big book study, where veryone is focussed on the message, recovery, and carrying the message. It is a great environment, never dull or boring, no drama, and safe for all. Hiding in that meeting would be unlikely to keep me sober.

I support three other meetings that are much more like the ones you describe. I don't go to take. I go to give. These groups all have their intractable characters, mental health patients, folks that are there for other reasons than alcoholism. I support them for two main reasons. Firstly to contribute my experience strength and hope about the AA message, and secondly and probably most importantly, to keep an eye out for the real alcoholic newcomer who wanders in the door bewildered and frightened, looking for a solution to his problem.

I guess it is a mindset thing. Do I go to get, or give. I have found long ago that when I go to get, I am always disappointed in the outcome.
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