I was a functioning alcoholic for about 15 years give or take, I say functioning but the truth was I was completely broken and completely insane. I must have tried quitting over 1000 times always promising myself and others I was done and it was the last time. Needless to say I relapsed again and again sometimes even a few hours later after promising my loved ones I would sort myself out. It was complete insanity and I was killing myself from inside out. The anxiety was becoming so bad I was bed ridden after binges and the sucidal thoughts seemed like comfort in those desperate times.
My problem was the cravings they where full body experiences I would be climbing the walls and justifying every relapse. I honesty thought I would never get sober.

Now over 2 years sober I don’t crave alcohol at all in fact it now has the opposite effect Iam actually slightly scared of the stuff. Therapy, mediation, yoga, healthy eating, exercise and honesty have helped Me get to this point. Stay sober and the brain will re wire and the cravings will go. The first year was the hardest by far. Good luck.