Old 03-02-2019, 09:11 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
WaterOx
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,408
Yeah I remember posting a thread about alcohol and perfectionism. It was like "how can people expect to you quit and still be perfect?"

Looking back, it seemed like an odd question but I still get it. In a funny way I felt I drank to maintain control. I drank every day and basically all day, if I could. It was never so much to get drunk as much as it was because I felt I needed it to be numb and hence in control. I always feared my emotions and felt they did nothing but get in the way.

As we all know by now, alcohol only made emotions worse, not better. The only way to keep up "the control" was to keep up the drinking and the intake or else the house of cards would come tumbling down.
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