Originally Posted by MLD51

I talk to people in AA all the time who relapsed over and over again because they hated the idea of complete surrender. They thought they could do it their own way. They would hang onto the idea that they could exert some sort of control over their addiction. That they didn't need to admit they were powerless. The ego tries to tell us we can do it ourselves, with no help and no letting go of control. The word "powerless" rubs people the wrong way, and I understand that. But we are not completely powerless. We are only powerless over alcohol. We DO have the power to recover. Every single one of us. For me, until I surrendered completely, there was no way I was going to begin recovering. Until I admitted and really FELT that I could never drink safely or "normally," I was doomed to stay on the roller coaster.