Loneliness and cravings
Today I am getting some serious cravings for a drink.
It's a beautiful sunny day on the campus, the days where everyone sits on the green by the college bar and drinks in the sun.
I took a year out and am repeating my college year due to addiction troubles with drugs and alcohol. So I really don't have any friends in the college. I could have had some by now in truth, but I spent too long recovering from my binges that I skip club events and then my time is all taken up by frantically trying to catch up on work, once again leaving no time for club events. The friends I do have are not replying to me and the loneliness is starting to eat away at me a bit.
I know I will make new friends with sobriety. I know I can finally actually start getting on top of things with sobriety.
But man, right now its hard. I feel like if I could just text my friends I do have "hey want to go for a drink they would likely be not ignoring me". Or are the ignoring me because they are drinking? I dont know.
Either way, I havent and won't give into this craving. I have work to do, and the craving is just a way of escaping the loneliness and to procrastinate. It is hard though I do feel a physical urge to have a beer and sit in that sun. More than anything just some social interaction would be nice.