Hi HCD, your latest post really resonated with me because I absolutely hate it when people tell me to 'smile'. When I find a proper come-back, I will let you know. Now you've snapped at that woman she'll probably think she's vindicated and that you are a grump. You have had so much to put up with, maybe your face does reflect the strain, but that's no reason for others to be thoughtless.
BTW, have you heard the term Resting Bitch Face? It it kinda insulting, and aimed at females, but means someone who can be off with the clouds and still look grumpy. I'm pretty sure I have one, but when people get to know me better they realise that I'm not constantly cross. I have made a bit of an effort to say something light to people in case I'm scaring them and have been surprised at the positive response. I suppose I shouldn't be, but sometimes we can retreat inside ourselves and not realise we're doing so.
I wonder if you're getting to the point where you can take action against your EXAH as a vexatious litigant? You have many points stacked against him, and you need the peace.
Stay alert; at some point if you're correct, he will overstep the boundaries and you can get him.