Thank you everyone for your support and advice, I take every word to heart. Found out on my way home from work that my father had passed away in his sleep at the hospital. I did not get to say goodbye, or visit him one last time. They had told me he was non verbal for the last several days. Since he did not do a will or trust, his estate will go into probate. There are a million unknowns and I don’t live there so I will be doing what I can from home but will have to fly out there to clear out the house, probably go to probate court, pick up his ashes and take them to the cemetery, etc. There are already lawyer fees and cremation fees that I need to pay up front. I am sad and overwhelmed at the moment and he always said “someday this house will be yours.” Like it was so simple, he felt good about leaving it to me, but now it’s just a big mess that could take years to settle if there’s anything left in the end. It’s the perfect ending to sum up how it was when he was alive. Good intentions but broken promises. I loved my dad very much and I know he loved me. I guess in my heart that is going to have to be enough for me hold on to. Thank you all for your kind words. There’s really no other place I know of where everyone gets it. When I tell people my story they either look sad and sorry for me or they just say, you dont need to put up that, just leave. They clearly aren’t seeing the big picture, the reality of alcoholism in families. I’m so glad SR exists. I found it several years ago and keep finding myself coming back. Thank you.