I did it! Yay to me. I hate that his emotional manipulation and anger still impact my ability to clearly do what's right, but I ignored all that and did it anyways. Seeing everything written up in a court order was hugely helpful as it just was painfully clear how bad things had gotten. I feel a huge sense of relief and my ex's reaction (total denial) to the entire situation is just another reminder of why this has to happen. Kids first. Always. Got it.