Good stuff, Dee.
For years I conceptualized sobriety and living alcohol-free as the weakness. I would tell myself that those people just didn’t have any self-control. Me, I’m smart, I can figure this out.
The wake up call for me is — yes, with a lot of willpower, anxiety, and pain I can “moderate” my drinking, give up hard liquor (for the most part), and limit my number of “bad” hangovers. At least, for a time.
So what? Stomaching through a self-imposed weakened version of your addiction is no way to go through life.
In this case, the word “surrender” feels like freedom. Whereas before this I could also ever see sobriety as a cage.
Thank you for sharing this.