Very thoughtful post Dee! Yeah, I used to resist any recovery lingo and now I cling to the words (because they are also concepts that come from experience). Your writing, Dee, made me look up this quote:
"When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity, and peace." (14)
For me, learning to surrender (I'm not fully there) and understanding the concept, means also accepting the fact that I can't control the behavior of others. I can suggest; I can teach: I can introduce tools, etc. But I can't control.
One of my big triggers for drinking came from a lack of patience and irritation with behaviors I did not like in close family and friends. (Ironic? Yes, since I'm the alcoholic here.) I wanted them to change desperately. But I'm learning to surrender and to speak only when it's truly important.