Hey Goose
I know that it is so tough. I have also had those hideous mornings after a nasty binge, my eyes opening and then I realize why I feel so awful. If I didn't have to go into work I would just keep drinking which seriously pissed off my husband because he had all kinds of plans for the day. His judgment was so hard on top of the shame I already felt. "Did you drink this morning" he would say in disdain.
I have been sober since May 2018 and it hasn't been easy but let me tell you it is soooo worth it. You actually get your life back plus so much more.
This site has been my tool on my journey into my sober life and it can be for you too. You will find tons of support and resources.
Stay close and share. We have all been where you are now.