Beach......do you know the difference between "detoxification" and "rehabilitation"?
Detoxification is the medical management of the withdrawl symptoms after the person has stopped drinking.....usually a few days in a medical facility, or, at least, under the direction of a physician....
Rehabilitation is the treatment after the detox period...often in a facility for this purpose.....
However...rehabilitation as you describe it, is not absolutely necessary...even though it can be helpful....for the motivated.
Many people get into recovery by a supervised detox period, accompanied by 90 meetings of AA in 90 days.....AA is free...except for a small donation, if possible.
It might be helpful for your wife to plan her recovery program with the guidance of a trained alcoholism counselor...especially one who has several years of recovery under their own belt!
We can't know what all your wife needs...or even if she might have an additional co-occurring condition, in addition to the obvious alcoholism.....
This falls into the realm of persons who are trained to evaluate her...like psychologist, psychiatrist, counselors trained in alcoholism/addictions.....as well as the support of the members of AA and a sponsor, on a day to ay basis.....
it is not absolutely necessary to spend thousands of dollars, out of pocket, on expensive rehabilitation facilities.....
If she has been in three rehabs, already, it is likely that she knows where to find the help...if she really wats it....
If she doesn't want it...you will have to do what you have got to do to protect your self and the children......even if you never thought you would have to go this route,,,,,
Rehabilitation facilities do not have magic wands.....they can only prepare a person to begin the road to recovery, for those who are so motivated.....