Originally Posted by
Canuck76 
I just don't quite know what is driving me. I have to stop. I am scared for myself and safety.
Alcohol is driving. And it's a master of making you think that it's not. Re-read the three sentences you wrote above- even in those three lines you say that you don't know what the problem is but then you state that you do. Classic addictive denial, most of us have been there.
I think at this point you are not only a danger to yourself but those around you too if you are randomly going out on the town in blackout mode. What happens if you get in a vehicle for example? To be honest I think your next call should be to an inpatient rehab facility - for your own safety and your family.
None of the other issues with your anxiety or ADHD can be solved until you stop drinking, and if you can stop drinking yourself you need to be someplace where alcohol is not an option. Once that hurdle has been cleared you can start exploring options to deal with the other problems.