I was in the same cycle you describe. Anxiety, booze, thoughts of suicide, repeat. My messed up mind was a huge motivator for me to get sober—I just couldn’t take it anymore and knew that if I quit drinking it HAD to get better.
Newly sober, but my anxiety has definately gotten better.
In order to clean up the mess (had a post a few weeks back titled that I was a mess) —you have to put down the drink and resolve that you are done with drinking and want to get better. All the mind stuff if most likely from the drinking, and the further you get from your last drink—the better your mind will be.
Keep posting, we are here for you. Being sober is a gradual process, one day at a time. You can do this and the mess in your head will go away.