Today is day 94:
This marks the longest I've ever been sober. It makes me nervous lol. I surpassed my stint of being alcohol free 90 days in 2013. Prior to that, I guess the longest would've been before I really started with heavy social drinking before age 22. That makes about 18 years of boozing the booze.
If anyone has been following along I want to highlight some positives, especially for someone on the tipping point or about ready to embark on the sobriety train. '
1) At first I hated the word sobriety, now I live it. I use it. I say it.
2) Triglycerides are back to normal from a high of 480.
3) Blood pressure is normal again
4) Daily routines are in place
5) I can make plans with folks and keep them
6) I am reliable and hold myself accountable
7) I feel connected again
The cravings are way less and usually only heightened when a social situation arises. That is when I try and lean on my recovery tools the most. Other days I remind myself to stay connected. My fear is I forget the horrible bs alcohol brought me and start attributing the negatives I had in my life to something else. This will lead me to think it's ok if I just have a few with the boys. I can bounce back to the sober train right? Of course I've shown myself I don't want to go back there, so a few nights of slamming some beers will be ok? This is what experienced recovery folks call rationalization. I fear that.
I remind myself daily that I need growth and connection. Many times I do the whole "play the tape forward" sorta thing. This helps keep me grounded when I start to think a few would be ok. This keeps it real.