Originally Posted by
PeaceInSilence 
Doris - congratulations on day 2. Its hard, it really is. I'm on day 4 after being sober for 17 months and the first thought of suicide was with me on Monday - I truly wanted to die, felt if I was cut open I would be hollow inside as that's how I felt. But I know there is a solution for me and that's AA and the 12 step programme. I don't want to die, the drunk me does......I'm not that same person and one of my group members told me this amazing piece of information last night. I'm not drunk, full of regret, selfish. egotistical, judgemental peace - I'm a mum, inside of me there is goodness, I have hope again.
I wish you every bit of luck.
Peace x
Ironically that is the alcohol causing such thoughts. Studies show that the absence of dopamine literally takes away one's will to live. Alcohol does this in short order.
I'd like to write a thread about this one day but suffice to say, since I quit drinking, the suicidal thoughts all but vanished.
Doris- you're doing great! You're not alone by a long shot!
PS: when I say "suicidal thoughts", they were literally just that: thoughts. I never once came close or even considered acting on them. I'm just pointing out that they actually appeared the more I drank. It's as fascinating as it is scary. I'd like to do more research and post more one day.