I really didn’t sleep well last night. I couldn’t stop thinking about the man from Fla whose name I can’t recall right now that posted about his DUI with bodily harm and pending sentence. I don’t know who else here read it but man has it ever stuck with me. It brought back the intensely horrowing feelings associated with my last drunk 83 days ago and that wasn’t even close to my worst. However, 83 days ago that could have been me. Driving while blacked out on a weeknight after a work event... a night that started with zero intention of ending up not knowing how it was going to end. I was beyond fortunate that I didn’t kill anyone or myself or get a DUI. I hadn’t driven after drinking in probably more than a year. Not that that is something to be proud of, but I say it because it’s like it just came from out of no where. And it’s terrifying. Sometimes the randomness of it has convinced me in the past that it’s really not a problem because it’s not all the time. But it always builds in consistency... not the driving, but the frequency of blacking out. And how sick that my mind is trying to trick me that it isn’t really a problem. I made the decision to take the first drink. I really believe that’s the one decision I can influence by getting enough sleep, eating well, staying hydrated, working my program here, reading, sharing, staying humble and everything else in my daily list to keep me from drinking AT ALL.

Thanks for readjng my ramble. It’s so helpful just to get it out.