I'm so sorry Meatball, I know there are no words right now, except that we are all here to support you st this time. I lost my mom December 26th, and it was so much harder than when I lost my dad in 2010. I think there is something about losing that second parent that makes it really difficult.
I've been doing a lot of reading on grief, I ordered a few books on Amazon, I will share the titles if you're interested. I've also cried quite a bit. I spend some time each day remembering all of the amazing things about my mom.
I know how difficult the next few days will be as you say your final goodbyes. Sending you lots of love and prayers, and my very deepest sympathies.
❤️Delilah