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Old 01-27-2019, 05:52 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Hechosedrugs
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 635
I've got advice on how to leave an addict, whether you should put their name on the birth certificate, whether you should stick around or get the heck out of dodge and travel as far across the country as you can manage, oh man do I have advice. And I love giving it just as much as I love giving my opinions. Man, do I love giving my opinions!

But that's not what we're here for. We're here to support you.

Gosh, I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. My ex struggled with an addiction to painkillers before and during my pregnancy, but it wasn't until after I gave birth that he started his downward spiral with meth and cocaine. That's when things really got awful. So I can't relate to having to go through that during pregnancy, all I can say is I am so incredibly sorry that you are.

I have had a heck of time battling him in family court. It literally took my 7-year-old son testing positive for meth for the judge to finally take action. I even had statements from witnesses that the children were terrified of him, and that one of my boys said ex had told him he was going to kill me. Didn't matter. Everything's all about joint custody, parental rights, drug abuse does not necessarily equal child abuse, yada yada yada.

We have a court date this Tuesday. He's asking to have his 50/50 visitation rights reinstated because... I don't really know... I mean, he's still testing positive for drugs, and he's missed the majority of his supervised visits. And you know what? I wouldn't be surprised if it's granted. And maybe the judge will throw him a parade, too. Yay non-child support paying, sporadic visiting, drug addicted dad. Woohoo.

Oh man, do I have opinions.

I'm glad you've been posting here, and hope you'll take a read around. I wish I had done this from the beginning, when I first saw the signs of drug abuse. When we learn from each other's stories, we start to see the patterns of the addict, and that our special snowflakes aren't as unique as we thought they were. The manipulation, the deception, the betrayal- it's all common.

A quote that has been helpful to me:

"Marriage is not a mutual suicide pact"
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