Hello and welcome. You've found a great place for support.
I drank alcoholicly for thirty years.
I now have ten years sober.
I hit some pretty low bottoms and bounced right back into drinking, thinking it would be some how different this time after being sober for four days.
It never was different. I was back to my old ways in no time.
I managed seven months once. But I was doing my laundry and thought that would be a good time to drink. And I did for another five years.
Cunning, baffling and powerful is alcoholism.
I did go to AA. I found a higher power in the group dynamic.
Here were people, as on this forum, who were solving our common problem with drink.
I found this forum and found the same thing.
It didn't happen over night, but every time I slipped, I kept on trying. I never gave up trying.
I hope you don't, either.
Sobriety is possible no matter how low we've sank.
I wish the same for you. Save yourself some misery and quit. I did and I was a bad drunk.
So, best to you and stick around.