Pathwaytofree
I'm not an AA member (let alone sponsor) but just wanted to chime in and say that your sponsee sounds lucky to have someone who so genuinely cares about her well being . Kudos.
Anyway, I too am very interested in this topic. Years ago I read the book "Adult Children of Alcoholics" by Janet Geringer Woititz. If you haven't read it before I think you'd find it enlightening (as an ACoA myself, as well as an alcoholic, I know that I certainly did). I'm guessing there was discussion on this issue in the book, but I can't recall offhand after so many years. You might want to take a look. I wish you the best!