This time fearless, feels different to the 1 million other times I have tried to stop drinking.
But I know it's not going to just happen by magic, staying off it.
I have found a way to fill my days, be useful and ease the loneliness through volunteering.
I also use Smart Recovery. And I have given myself permission not to obsessively worry about everything and everybody, just for one year, at first, because at times I chewed on every small thing until inside my head was unliveable. I am forcing myself to leave the past in the past and to not self indulgence by morbidly reflecting on it.
Same with the future, not morbidly projecting.
I have a healthy eating plan and do a lot of walking.
If I get really desperate, I will decorate my kitchen, as I have had the paint for a year, giving me the guilts everytime I look in the cupboard.
Plus I'm using the guided meditations on YouTube to reduce any stress build up, before it gets out of hand.