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Old 01-22-2019, 01:46 PM   #7 (permalink)

Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 1,757
Originally Posted by WaterOx View Post
CRRHCC you're the first one I've heard use the word "control" the way I always thought about alcohol. I've often used that word and it seemed like a lot of people couldn't relate. They'd always stress that alcohol was used to lose control.

As crazy as it seems, I always felt the opposite. Thanks for clarifying that for me

Originally Posted by CRRHCC View Post
I agree. My wife could never understand that drinking actually returned control to me, of my feelings, of feeling better. I wasn't necessarily in control of my faculties. lol.
What I have learned is that what all humans really seek is a sense of control. What we really seek is not a drink, a drug, porn or a bet, but a sense of empowerment (feeling better with our quick fix), especially in the face of feeling overwhelmed, helpless, trapped and powerless.
It was certainly true in my case with alcohol. There were a number of reasons I should quit, but the most compelling, the one that really pissed me off when I first tried to control it, was the realization that I could not, all the while convincing myself that I just liked to drink. I could best describe it as being "fiercely annoyed" by becoming aware of that. Knowing that a mere physical substance was controlling my behavior was the single most important motivator that got me on the road to seriously getting help. That led naturally, although at first begrudgingly, to abstinence.
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