Takes, I too lost an amazing woman primarily over my drinking. I firmly believe God put her into my life to show me that love she bore for me, to show me a living example of how I should be conducting my life, and then took her away to get me sober. It sucks. It's painful. I know that for the rest of my life, barring some miracle that I don't see coming, I will look at other women and compare them to her, and find them wanting. I'm having to come to grips with all of that and live in sobriety and healthy recovery. The best form of apology is changed behavior. And I really owe her a debt of apology.
Having said that, I would also add that you can't be sober for her, at least in my opinion. You HAVE to be doing it for you. At least I had to. Good luck, man. I believe things will get better and work out for me the way they are supposed to if I can simply not drink and live with gratitude.