You have done all the right things, Dad.
The one and only time I bailed my son out, he had cried on the phone, sobbing that he would do anything we wanted, go to meetings, go to rehab, stay under "house arrest" by us...anything, if we would just bail him out. It broke my heart and I did it.
I picked him up and we were not even home yet when he jumped out of the car at a stop sign and took off to use once more.
"We" are never the answer. Jail can be the best thing that ever happened to them if they can take the lesson and learn from it.
Bailing them out robs them of the lesson and shows them that once again, they can count on us to enable and cushion their fall.
You will be fine. He will be fine or not, but however this unfolds he is better off taking the lesson. God's got him covered.
Hugs from a mama whose been there.