Pardon my ramble but I just need to talk...
I am so stressed at the moment, I have a huge life event happening on Tuesday that has been a long time coming (nothing to do with alcohol or the consequences off). It will have such a huge impact if it doesn't go well, my anxiety is off the chart and I have to go and be a nice calm person under very difficult circumstances because it will raise red flags if I am overly stressed.
I'm sat here with my coffee looking out at the snow, 255 days sober, thinking why the f did I get sober? This is torture. I don't know whether I drank because of anxiety or my drinking caused it. I don't think I even really want to drink although if you put a glass of wine in front of me I'm not sure I would say no. I just need SOMETHING to provide some relief from this stress, just for a little bit.
All the mindfulness, gratitude and meditation in the world isn't helping right now ugh this sucks big time!
Sorry for the vent
