Originally Posted by
NYCDoglvr 
Recovering alcoholics aren't all the same and it's impossible to generalize about their state of mind. A lot depends on how long they drank and quantities consumed; were drugs involved and the depth of their recovery program. Yes, step four is a tough one but we do it anyway .......... or we don't and eventually drink.
It's my observation that expectations screw up more relationships than practically anything else. My relationships improved the more I let expectations go.
Sounds like a very stressful situation and I hope you both get through it. Big hug.
He has said the same thing about expectations. Without expectations, there is no order. Laws are made as a basis of expected human behaviour. We are expected to obey traffic laws to keep us safe.
Relationships are built on expectations. I expect my husband will not sleep with other women, I expect he will not yell at me or throw things at me. I also expect him to be someone I can trust enough to open up to. Being a parent is full of expectations. My children trust and expect I will take care of them.
I don't understand lowering your expectations. I lowered my expectations of him to ground level when he was drinking. It didn't help me at all.
Please explain this to me. I'm not being sarcastic, I really want to know.