Originally Posted by
Wamama48 
He says he can't understand the whole PTSD thing, what's my problem, and that it's been a year since he quit and I'm still stuck on it, I haven't made any progress, and that it's not up to him to clean up my side of the street. I didn't ask him to fix it! Just to offer some kind of support. He's capable of saying "you're working hard, you'll get there." Six little words! My 8 year old grandaughter can do that! And also I'm "blowing things out of proportion and just being difficult".
Hi Wamama, wow that's a lot of stuff going on, I'm sorry you are in this tough spot, it's got to be very depressing (on its own, nevermind actually having depression).
As hopeful mentioned, living with someone with depression is stressful, really stressful and it sounds like he is not able/willing to be any kind of support for you. He may just not have it in him? No reflection on you btw - it just is.
You'll notice that when he mentions the PTSD he takes it personally? That bringing it up is taking a personal swipe at him? Now, I don't know what your previous conversations on the topic have been but if he thinks he is responsible (and obviously he does) he is defending himself (not helpful, of course).
tomsteve touched on relapse, I'm no alcoholism expert but that's what I'm reading here. Sounds like he is giving up, I really hope not.
All that said, that is HIS side of the street.
As for you, you must be questioning how long and how much you have to detach? How long do you go on being in a marriage where there is, for long stretches, absolutely no emotional support? The fact that you have to write him a letter to express your feelings is kind of a red flag.
I know both dandylion and I have mentioned Asperger's before, in relation to your Husband, have you noticed more in that direction now that he is sober?
The truth is the detachment will be as long as it will be. As you well know, trust is earned and you can't trust standing on sand. You put yourself out there and the sand shifts and that hurts.
Please keep taking care of yourself, reach out for as much support as you can get (including here). Have you researched depression support groups at all?