velma929

I hope so. Hope. Sadly, a lot of women [mostly] still would rather be in a lousy relationship than no relationship at all. It isn't that we don't recognize poor behavior. We see 1) only what we want, sometimes, and 2) don't want to be alone.

I moderated a Facebook page, and one of the things that regularly popped up was police busts of drug dealers. I remember one in particular in which the arrest individual already had a felony conviction for drug dealing. He was stopped for illegal attachment of plates, I think. Then police searched the car and found more drugs, and of course... a gun. First come the congrats to the police for getting more 'scum' off the street. But you can count the minutes until the girlfriend posts... "_____ was in the wrong place at the wrong time, he was just getting his life together, and he's a great dad to Little ___"

I cried, i literally did, that in the 21st century a young woman still saw this as a viable lifestyle. I cried for a little kid who quite likely was going to grow up with a dad cycling in and out of jail. I don't know if he put up a good show, and she naively believed him.

I guess what I'm saying is that making this actionable is one thing. Convincing women that being alone is preferable to partnering up with an abuser or addict is another. It's bigger. It's the root of the issue, along with identifying abusers before they get attached to you (because leaving an abuser who's invested in you is dangerous, too.)
One of my former colleagues was murdered by her husband weeks after she left him.

I still remember a woman who told me something must be wrong with me because I hadn't 'caught' a man by my mid-twenties. That attitude has to change, too. Sadly, though my alcoholic husband wasn't abusive, that kind of self-talk probably colored some of my choices in my youth.