I personally got a lot out of AA and the step work, and from the AA folks on SR.
However, I also found that AA made me feel worse about myself in some aspects. The tough love, harsh treatment that was not deserved, focus on "character defects", powerlessness, loving others but nothing about self-love or boundaries, strength, etc., just did not boat well for me at all. It was not what I needed. I didn't fit neatly into the "AA box". I don't have the type of personality that does well in AA and neither does one of my sponsees. I never pointed this out to her--she figured it out on her own and I'm trying to help her find her own truth without my own recovery experience getting in her way.
AA works miracles for many people. I've seen it first hand. But it's not the answer for everyone. I'm finding a better fit for me is therapy. But I wouldn't have gotten to where I am now without AA. That being said, a lot of negative stuff happened during my time in AA that made things much worse for me. I agree with you about the "learned helplessness" and this is something therapy helped me with. I also used to get more depressed with a lot of meetings I went to except for one that was solution based which eventually became my home group. Everyone who spoke was very positive.
The daily reprieve thing isn't meant to be depressing. It is there for people who think "I did all the step work, now I'm good." It means we have to work the steps every day. It's not daunting. For me, my way of working the steps every day is just paying attention to my thoughts, words, and actions and learning from what went well and what didn't.