Lacey, what is keeping you from just letting the house go and starting over? You are earning a wage right now. Can you apply that to getting current housing in order and then worry about the rest later?
I would also reach out to the community and see what's available. Many churches have people who will come out and work on your home. Or maybe something like Habitat For Humanity for a new house all together. I personally would do what I need to do to stabilize myself for the time being and worry about all the details later.
Why on earth would it take 4 months for a 401k check to process? That sounds fishy to me.