Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Ok well, you perceived my post as somewhat "judgey" I think and actually it wasn't intended that way at all. I was using, what I thought was a little bit of lawyer humour - I guess that didn't work!
I am not naive, I totally get what you mean, however, the fact that this has ever been discussed (and I'm going to guess in a judgmental way because what other way is there?) cannot be overlooked.
The fact that you have ever brought her to task about it guarantees the exact reaction she had and whyever would it not?
I'm not "blaming" anyone one here, not you not her, I'm not a judge, I am just trying to shed some light on her reaction, which, in this case, seems kind of normal.
You have reiterated that she is not your "ex", I took this to mean that you still hold out some hope for this relationship? My intent was to shed light, nothing more, I'm not taking sides and i'm not playing devil's advocate.
See how easy it is to feel judged though.
Trailmix - no worries.
To steal a line from the movie "Men in Black" "we in the law business don't have a sense of humor that we're aware of."
As you know, I just started a new job (after closing up my own business) and at two-weeks in --- well, let's just say life is going to be "different." At the moment with the new job, I've been assigned at least 6 trials in the next 13 months that I'm either 1st chair (lead attorney) or 2nd chair on. Some in-town; some out-of-town. Some of it stuff I'm very familiar with; some of claims, though - like work discrimination - it's like going straight from the kiddie pool to the swim team. Add to that, the week or so before a trial - no matter what the claim - is like "cramming for college finals" - late nights, etc. Now, in reality, some of these cases will likely settle out --- but which ones???
And, I still worry about how I'm going to take care of my DS during these times as a "single parent."
As the lead attorney on many of these cases, I've got to do a "deep dive" on some of these cases that were recently re-assigned to me. Gotta know the file backwards and forwards, all the relevant facts, etc.
So, a lot of stress going on right now. Trying to figure out how the "puzzle pieces" of work and life fit together over the next 6 months to a year.
I mean, I signed DS for t-ball last night and I'm not 100% sure how I'm going to get him to practices/games on time in April since I've got 2 trials scheduled back-to-back that month.
With a true partner/spouse that you're on the same page with, all of this would be challenging.
With an AW who is in recovery, currently living in a sober living facility and who perceives things as "judgey" etc.....
I'm just not sure I have the energy or the inclination.
Plan B would be to sell the house and move myself and DS in with my brother. He works from home 2 or 3 times a week and his work days usually end at 5 p.m. And he's willing to help out with DS. It would also ease some financial pressures for both of us (splitting one rent vs. one paying rent/the other mortgage, utilities, etc.).
It makes me sad to say that my brother is, right at the moment, a more reliable "partner" than my AW.
I'm blessed to have a brother and a Plan B -- many people here do not.
But, I'm not "happy" or "excited" by implementing Plan B.
MCE Saint