I've never gone back to drinking, but I've watched enough guys with years and years go back. I don't understand it. The last one was a guy with 20 years. He divorced his wife, actually the perfect wife for him, and then got all weird. Then he shows up one day drunk on his a$$, feels bad about it the next day, says he's going to finish what's left of his booze, go back to AA the next day and get his 1 day chip. He never did. He drank for two years complaining about everybody else, until he died of some liver disorder.
It's like he got sober but never got over drinking. I would think, someone like you could explain it. I'm at a loss. I don't get it at all.