FallenAngelina

Are you involved in the AlAnon program? I don't mean just attending meetings now and then, I mean embracing the program. Just from reading this thread, I am struck that you need regular meeting fellowship, a sponsor, working the steps, daily readings and service. Alcoholics differ from us in just one way: they drink. Otherwise, we are very much the same as alcoholics in that we have an astounding ability to tolerate and continue a crappy life experience. To change a life that has gone in such an extremely unhappy direction, a full program is necessary and AlAnon is a wonderful, positive answer to that - at the cost of $1 per meeting or whatever you feel inspired to give or not give. AlAnon is not the only way to change course, but a full community approach is. Whichever community speaks to you will fill the bill, but AlAnon is everywhere and every day, like birds.

I say to you what we always say to alcoholics: You do not have to go it alone and indeed, you cannot go it alone. Insisting that we need to go it alone is what got us here and only opening ourselves up to community will get us out.