As a secular person, I find myself too far removed from the twelve steps as they are practiced, though I don't think I would have been able to begin my recovery without coming into contact with the caring people that I have known in AA as a means to coming to reality with the fact that I'm an alcoholic.
Nor do I find myself completely comfortable with the idea that alcoholism is a learned behavior that can be treated through strictly psychological means. As far a programs go, that kind of leaves me between a rock and a hard place, or so it seems, but I draw upon some of the principles of AA and the practices of what I know about SMART or AVRT to help me along the way.
* I do find that what I am seeking is trans-formative. I cannot be the person that I was previously, fundamentally.
* I focus on my values and interpret those in ethical terms of what my behaviors mean to me and for others.
* I address my medical needs as somebody who has mental illness (depression and anxiety).
* I recognize that my ego can be both a hindrance and a source of strength as self-esteem.
* I practice cognitive behavioral therapy to recognize my thinking and try to alter my perceptions of it.
* I seek outside help in the form of a community of addicts that can help me to validate my approaches and refine them along the way.
* I have a safety plan for when I cannot help myself.
* I am not drinking for today. I don't see that as a condemnation or daily reprieve, but as an act that is recurring evidence.
None of these are original ideas from me, and I am happy to borrow from others as I go. I am a bit of a loner but I am not alone. These are my "steps".